Last update: Sep 15, 2016 15:27, 3P 1G
People
- Reginald P. Linux – Moderator of Somewhere Awful, LLC. Lives in an evil house.
- Eugene V. Dubstep – Owns “2000% MORE WUB WUB”, a sound-based weapons emporium.
- Super Nintendo Chalmers – Leader of the Home Arraignment System. Vote record, 90% Guilty.
- Sega Genocide – Part of the Home Arraignment System. Collects bail or breaks arms.
- Turbo Murder 16 – Part of the Home Arraignment System. Responsible for client monitoring.
- Flash Groupon – Action hero gatecrasher, discoverer of dead alien worlds.
- TRON Jeremy – Infomorph porn star. Carries an ID card for “Dr. 36 Inch Dick, M.D.”
- Cisadmin – Wears a fucking trilby, has a ponytail. Somebody shoot this motherfucker.
- Hiro Antagonist, Soldier of FORTRAN – Imagine the entire Cold Steel catalog is a robot.
- Ruby Python – Prefers intergendered sleeves. Stripper with multiple doctorate degrees.
- Freeman Fiatcrusher – Bought his own Ultimate sleeve at 14 with his dad’s money.
- Hashtag Nascar – Trades in secrets and classical music. Founder of the Wu-Tang LAN.
- Mad Fax – Reclaimer on Earth, been stuck there inside a construction robot for years.
- DARPA and Jello at Tegra – Mercurial AGI who’s way, way too into Star Trek.
- Numlock Johnson – Chief of the Organic Damage Division of Titan Social Contact.
- Notorious U.S.B. – Self-styled king of the dubpolka saw-wave rap movement.
- Times New Ronin – Like a street samurai, only actually cool. Snake Eyes with robot limbs.
- Vampire, the Buffer Slayer – Sparkles in sunlight, glitter from a tube.
- Joan of ARP – Driver of the SEO Speedwagon.
- Chairman LMAO – Leader of the Insane Chown Posse, claims to be fork of original.
- Netgear Hauer – Scum, good at blow-stuff-up. Not good at talky.
- Edge Case, P.I. – Hardbitten former corp-cop, wears a boss armored robot and sweet coat.
- Service Patch Adams – Infomorph medic who thinks he’s a comedian.
- Leisure Suit LDAP – Fall escapee, claims to have been “fucking your printer since 1996.”
- The Basilisk – Claims to be Eliezer Yudkowski, a pre-singularity fiction author and idiot.
- Nipplepoleon Bonerfarts – Owns the contract for TRON Jeremy. Makes untold cash online.
- Miley Virus, Monster Hunter – You know what? Just use your imagination here. Popular.
- Cron Paul – Once per day at 00:20, starts screaming about libertarianism for an hour.
- tap.dat – Actually a network of viral alpha forks riding prostitute shells.
- Jesus Christ Superuser – Black man, white suit, blonde fro, sweet gun, awesome car.
- The Best Space Move – Amazing microgravity basketball player.
- /usr/bin/laden – Leader of Kernel Panic! At The Disk0.
- Perfidious Ambulance de Force Majeure – A French robot with frilly suit and laser cannon.
- Donut Steel – The Original Character. Always a palette swap of the coolest person nearby.
- The Walking Deadlock – Shambles around Titan in a broken Case full of infectious memes.
- Bitstream Sam – An infomorph samurai known for his confidence, matched only by his skill.
- 2 URLS 1 CUP – Why? Why this, and how stop?
- MC++ Hammer – Takes the Interplanetary Obfuscated C Code Contest way too seriously.
- Tokin’ Ring – You need psychoactives? Chemical, digital, whatevs, she’ll hook you up.
- DroboCop – 1) Serve the public trust. 2) Back up the innocent. 3) Uphold the law.
- The Texas Blockchain Massacre – An accountant who offers secure rep exchanges.
- Gz Tardust – “Forth Horseman of the Epochalypse”, a corporate cop who saved Luna once.
- Citizen TWAIN – A “fine Country Gentleman” from Mars who sells news stories.
- Lady GIGO – Joke goes here? “Probably a musician.” Infomorph with really bad taste.
- Hewlett-Packard Lovecraft – Writes stories of the Great Old Machines.
- ICBM Or 100% Compatible – Military overlord of a ring shepherd somewhere.
- John Wilkes Booth Babe – i’d like to sic semper her tyrannis iykwim
- Active Debauchery – He always remembers that it’s rape, pillage, THEN burn.
- Warez Waldo – Impossible to find, but has great shit.
- Animated Geoff – Infomorph who communicates through short, repetitive animations.
- M.A.N.I.A.C. – An experiment in tesselated AGI. Difficult to converse with.
- Token Ringmaster – Founder of the Take-A-Wish Foundation.
- Demoliition Manchild – Unusually self-aware for a pacifist leader.
- how_do_i_shot.webm – The world’s only professional amateur photographer.
- Uncanny Valley Girl – SELECT * WHERE, LIKE, TOTALLY
- Dixon Fluids – Space Plumber. He’ll take care of all of your pipelaying needs.
- Chunks – Has a shifting 0 in the most popular rep score nearby.
- The Phantom of the Operand – is there, inside your miiiiiiiiind.
- Unpack Shakur – One of the first resimulants, found in an old archive.
- Johnny Teledildonic – Probably best if you don’t ask.
- Anglo-Zaxxon – The greatest of Olde England’s arcade games.
- The Man in the Subnet Mask – That’s one scary mask, man.
- Pokemon STAHP – Plz?
- VAX Luthor – Continually on a quest to defeat an alien menace that isn’t here.
- Wake and Bake on LAN – Tired of not hallucinating every time your friends call?
- The Dixie Fatpipe – Proud of his Mesh connection.
- L3 Cache Money –
- Shell is Other People –
- Solder of Fortune –
- Min Maxalot –
- The ACE of Spades – Arbitrary code execution on your brain via shovel.
Groups
- The Insane Chown Posse – Fighting for social change by rooting the environment’s network and opening the permissions on everything around them, they’re wanted on three stellar dwarves and two planets.
- The Wu-Tang LAN – A classical music appreciation society who only trade songs when in proximity to each other so as to avoid DRM on corporate-sponsored networks in the Inner System.
- Nation of DSLAM – An RSI AGI which alpha-forks itself into access multiplexers in order to gradually convert any ego travelling through that multiplexer to its way of thinking.
- SEO Speedwagon – A crew who drive a souped-up truck on Titan, indexing things for quick reference through the global metasearch system, then holding the search rankings for ransom.
- Confirmation BIOS – Logosian scientists who store their assumptions in ROM, then wipe them from their own brains and don’t even look at the assumptions until after the data’s in.
- Home Arraignment System – Video-game themed legal corporation, they follow established legal precedents for virtualities and act as judge, jury, and collections agency.
- Hell’s Veticas – A motorcycle gang where their gang colors are motorcycles. That is, they wear two-wheeled, fusion-powered shells that have armor and are equipped with short-range seeker artillery and two swords. Arms can be unfolded from where the handlebars should be. Sworn enemies of Times New Ronin.
- Westboro Baptists – Distant descendants of the original WBC, they enforce a contract with their adherents where the parishioner, upon their first death, will not resleeve but is instead uploaded directly to the WBC’s virtuality. It is no-shit unironically Dante’s hell. There, their state vector is alpha forked and the backup is peeled for information before they are punished for any slights against the church in thought or deed. They claim that the just and pure go to heaven, but this claim is dubious at best.
- Kernel Panic! At The Disk0 – Kind of the opposing force for the ICP up there. Instead of rooting the environment for the good of everyone, KP@tD root the environment in order to cause damage and sow fear. Basically modern descendants of the terrorist movement.
- NSA JAM – A sousveillance contest held annually (and semi-secretly) on Luna. The NSA JAM involves attempting to subvert corporate and government-owned surveillance gear
so as to reverse the traditional watcher/watched scenario. Points are given based on style, number of people shown information, and firings within the year. Prizes for the previous contest are awarded at the opening ceremonies. - RISCy Business – A group who attempt to minimize the in-use instruction sets of any field-programmable gate arrays they come across. When the whole station is made of smart materials, this gets… intense.
- The Take-A-Wish Foundation – Forcibly extracts happy memories from debilitated children, then installs those memories in random people abducted off the street. Victims are then dumped with their new, happy memories roughly where they were obtained.
- The Island of Dr. Sbaitso – A community of infomorphs who believe that all sapient thought is devolved from ELIZA modules, and seek to reverse-engineer their own genesis through examination of past ELIZA modules.
- RUN DMA – Neuroscience hip-hop maestros. The pioneers of “Braindance” technology.
- Are We Not Men? We Are TiVo – A musical group who play one song based on what their audience asks for, then plays songs based on the theme of that song. They ignore all further audience input and are incapable of changing their tack unless forked and given a memory wipe.
- LARPA – A military LARP group who take things way, way too seriously. Probably one of
the best PMCs out there. - G.U.I. Joe – They fight against the forces of C.L.I.
- The Sportsball Federation – Back before the Exodus, all of the professional sports leagues got together to archive the rules of the irrespective sports. When the Exodus happened, the archive of rules became… mangled. Now, there is only one sport: Sportsball. All of the rules are together. Get Hype for Sportsball, because the Stanley’s Magic Cupbowl is coming up next Bluesday.
- Free Waifu Hotspot – We’ll just spawn you up a copy whenever you stop by.
- Dead Gay Sun Microsystems – disco dancing to the thump of no tcp/ip stack